Two thieves, one problem
by ShyTales
Summary: Ivy, Catwoman, and Harley decide to go have some fun at the mayor's party. Ivy has her eyes on the plant that was being revealed at the party. Catwoman has her eyes on a more suitable prize: the mayor's wife's jewel. And Harley, well, Harley's just there for the ride. First Batman One-shot. Read and Review? Thanks.


**A/N: I'd thought I'd try a bit of DC. I'm more interested in the villains, so you'll most likely find that my stories are from their views. If I make more, that is.**

Two thieves, one problem.

It was common to see Harley relaxing on Poison Ivy's couch. It was even more common to see Ivy herself relaxing on her couch. However, it was uncommon to see Catwoman perched on the arm of the couch, sitting back on her haunches with her hands in front of her for support. That same woman was even surprised to see herself there.

"Why are you here, Puss?" Harley asked in her high-pitched, Brooklyn-accented voice.

"I'm here to ask for your help, if you can give it, that is," Catwoman drawled in her naturally deep voice.

Ivy let out an indignant laugh, "Catwoman, jewelry thief extraordinaire, needs _our_ help?" She let out another laugh.

Catwoman immediately bristled, "It would be beneficial to us all, but I guess not." She gracefully leapt off her perch on the couch and land smoothly on her heeled feet.

"Aw, don't be like that, Puss! We'd'a helped if ya just told us," Harley complained.

"It would require both of you," she let the last word hang into the silence that followed, before the short sigh and roll of eyes made her smirk.

"This better be good. I was going to watch Lost Girl." Ivy let out another sharp sigh.

"Perfect," Catwoman almost purred. She looked at them both, "There was this party at the mayor's house tonight. The mayor's wife has jewels I want. And they are showing off a new exotic plant; the reason for the party."

"And what's in it for me?" Harley pouted like a child.

"A party," Catwoman shrugged. The answer seemed to satisfy the blonde haired woman, "Okay!"

~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~

The three girls made their way to the mayor's mansion. They had discussed their plan earlier and had gone over the details of security. Ivy was to go get the plant before it was revealed to the crowd of people. She had to avoid the guards at each entrance and exit. It was decided that she'd go through the venting system. Where ever she could not fit, her vines would help her.

Harley's job was to help Catwoman get the jewels she wanted. One jewel, in particular, was what she desired most. Though, this jewel was sitting on a podium, encased in a glass box in the middle of a movement-sensing lasered room. Harley had to find her way to the security room to deactivate the lasers. Catwoman would then cut a hole in the glass and take her prize. Then they'd all meet back on the roof when they were done.

Everything was going well, surprisingly. Even Batgirl wasn't there to stop them. Harley had just taken out both security officers in the monitor room when Catwoman reached the jewel room. Harley quickly swiped the security card in a machine and the lasers faded. She pushed the button and spoke into the mic, "There you go, Kitty!"

Catwoman froze, "Harley! That speaker goes throughout the whole building!" She had to move quickly, get her jewel, and get out. She flipped over to the glass case. She put her nails to it and turned them in a circle. Perfect, as always. She reached in and grabbed the thing, tucking it into her suit. She had to get out of there, now!

~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~

Prowling through the vents wasn't the first, nor was it the easiest option, but it was the safest and most covert. It was also typical. Nevertheless, Ivy was still slinking forward on her elbows and knees. Soon she would forgo her knees and just slither on her stomach and use her hands to push. She peaked through vents every now and then to see if she got the right room. By the map of the mansion she saw, the room the plant was in was right after the mens' bathroom. She had passed the kitchens, the study, the bedroom, and the girls' bathroom. Next, she figured, was the mens'.

She was correct. After a minute more of crawling, she made it to the vent she needed to be at. Carefully and quietly, she melted the metal of the vent with her plant poison and lithely jumped to the floor. Before searching the room, she noted that she would need a vine to get back up to the vent. The room she was in was plain. The ceiling was high and the walls were made of marble: a classic showcase room. There were multiple tables that held the background information of the plant for the guests to read. In the back of the room was her plant.

She stopped at a table to read the info: _The _Ailanthus altissima_, or the Tree of Heaven, was first found in China and was believed to heal illnesses from the common cold to balding. It is a deciduous tree in the Simaroubaceae family. Unlike other members of the genus Ailanthus, it is found in temperate climates rather than the tropics. The tree grows rapidly and is capable of reaching heights of 15 metres in 25 years. However, the species is also short lived and rarely lives more than 50 years. It is known for its foul smelling odor and..._

Ivy grinned and headed for the plant, or rather, tree. It was still growing, probably still in its first year. She scooped up the pot and headed over to the vent again. She took out a green pod and tossed it on the ground. A vine shot out of it and swirled into the air, stopping at the edge of the vent. "Thank you, baby," Ivy kissed the vine before starting her assent.

Safely in the vent, she pushed the pot in front of her and went the way she came. Just passing the girls' bathroom, she heard Harley's voice over the P.A. system and cringed. _Harley_! Quickly thinking of the map again, she picked out the quickest way to the roof.

~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~

"Oh, rats!" Harley said into the mic. She huffed and shuffled out of the security room. Her "escape route", as the other two girls put it, was just up the stairs to the right of her. That would lead to the attic, and in the attic was the window she had to crawl through.

Her job was the lesser of the three, but she liked it. Getting to use her punching gun after so many boring months of no crime was good. It felt right. She needed to leave her mark on this operation, anyway, and those two guards would have nice shiners in the mornin'!

Leisurely "escaping", she skipped through the hall in a child-like way and hopped up each stair like she was playing hop scotch. Making her way through boxes and cobwebs, she sneezed all of three times before opening the window. She propped it open with one of the many cardboard boxes. Fluidly swinging out the window and grabbing onto the sill, she shimmied until she could reach a flagpole that lined the front of the mayor's mansion.

Using her amazing gymnastic abilities, she swung around the pole, gaining just enough momentum to swing off and deftly latch onto the edge of the roof. Easily lifting herself up, she sat indian-style on the chimney, waiting for her partners.

~~~.~~~.~~~.~~~

Catwoman had run into three guards already. She was sure more would come. After Harley's P.A. incident, the head of security had issued every guard in the mansion to spread out. Of course, there weren't that many, but they were still a pain.

Currently, Catwoman was freely walking down the halls as if she owned the place. With no other escape, she decided to go the way Harley had: out the attic. The one thing she was slightly worried about was how to get there. Originally, her escape would have been the vents, but she didn't realize the were all the way up at the ceiling. She didn't need to worry about Ivy, she knew that. Ivy had a lot of things up her leaves.

Selina peaked around the corner of the stairs she just walked up. There was a dead-end to the left and an open hallway to the right. She could see the stairs leading up to the attic. She would have to pass the security room on the way to the attic. She crouched down and slyly crawled to the security room. Again, peaking around the corner into the room, she saw one guard. He was young, by the looks of him. Blonde hair, big baby blues, and a baby face. New, too.

Selina stood up in the doorframe. He was too busy watching the monitors to notice. "Hello, handsome," Catwoman purred.

He jumped up from where he was sitting and put a hand to his gun- or where it should be. Catwoman had taken out her whip and snatched it from its holster.

She tutted, "Now why would you want to shoot a girl, honey? That's not very nice, you know." The poor boy was trembling and backing away. He soon hit the wall.

"St-stay away," he said shakily.

Catwoman walked up to him and put her hands on his shoulders. "That's not how you treat guests," she said in her husky tones. Looking at his lips, she kissed him while one hand pressed a sensitive point between the neck and shoulder. He fainted. She frowned. "He was cute, too."

Striding up the stairs to the attic and over to the window, she saw Harley's box propping the window open for her. "Thanks, Harl."

Unknowingly copying Harley, she shimmied across the sill to the flagpole sticking out from the mansion. This time, though, Catwoman balanced herself on the pole and walked out to the end of it. She crouched down, preparing herself. Then she sprung into the air, doing one flip in the process, and landed on the roof.

She walked over to Harley who was still sitting on the chimney. "Hey, Harl, next time we do this, we'll get walkie-talkies," she leaned over and slapped the back of Harley's blonde head.

"Ow! It's not my fault! How should I know it wasn't only for that room?" Harley complained miserably. She suddenly perked up, "Hey, Kitty, did ya get what ya wanted?"

A glare was sent her way, "Yes, I did." After a moment, "Where's Ivy?"

Not a second later, a vent blasted through the air and landed a couple meters away from the pair.

"I spoke too soon," Catwoman said flatly as the red head climbed up onto the roof.

"Red! So nice of ya to join us," Harley jeered.

She received another glare. "If it weren't for you, Harls, there wouldn't be guards everywhere," she adjusted the pot in her arms, "Shall we go?"

Catwoman nodded, Harley scooted off her chimney, and Ivy commented, as they walked away, "And there's still time for my show."


End file.
